lazypadawan: (nothavingagoodday)
Via Chase Masterson's Twitter:

https://twitter.com/ChaseMasterson/status/223860587787063296/photo/1

I don't know what Obi-Wan did...maybe he drank too much at a nearby cantina. Maybe he attempted to pick a duel with Anakin or take Jango Fett into custody, and Jango wasn't about to go anywhere. Maybe Darth Maul set him up. In any case, let's hope the Jedi Council puts up bail and all Obi-Wan gets is a fine and probation.
lazypadawan: (Default)
The Star Wars crime spree continues...how long before politicians call for a crackdown?

http://www.wlwt.com/news/31107774/detail.html
lazypadawan: (nothavingagoodday)
What's more embarrassing than calling yourself "Obiwan Kenobi?" Calling yourself Obiwan Kenobi and getting arrested for a hit and run:

http://www.news10.net/news/local/article/191485/2/Obiwan-Kenobi-goes-to-the-dark-side?hpt=ju_bn6

At least have the decency to limit your failings to little white lies, snarky comments about insignificant life forms, drinking on the job, letting your former best friend burn to death, and setting up your former best friend's son into committing patricide. Hit and run? That's inexcusable. Not even Juggalos do that, bro.
lazypadawan: (Default)
A drunk guy in a Vader mask tries the patience of a Florida state trooper, and causing trouble in the F-state 7 months away from Celebration:

http://www.theforce.net/latestnews/story/Darth_Vader_Attacks_Florida_State_Trooper_142843.asp

Vader should have known better than to mess with this guy:

http://media2.myfoxla.com/photo/2011/11/21/pepper-spraying-cop_20111121160038_320_240.JPG
lazypadawan: (Default)
Thanks to this guy, Star Wars fans are one step closer to becoming a feature on "Gangland" and earning a spot on TSA's No Fly list:

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/12/portland_police_arrest_man_aft_1.html
lazypadawan: (Default)
Dear World,

I hang my head in shame and embarrassment at the antics of the following "Star Wars Fans."

First we have a German guy dressed as Yoda busted for DUI and hitting a pedestrian (no serious injuries) on the way back from a Halloween party:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/11/01/German-Yoda-charged-with-drunk-driving/UPI-45501320134400/

Next, we have a man in England just convicted for murdering his wife after she allegedly trashed his Star Wars collectibles during an argument. I know how I'd feel if somebody destroyed my collection but I don't think I'd go to death row for it either:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8865509/Wife-strangled-after-smashing-up-husbands-Star-Wars-toys.html

Dude, you should have just ponied up for that plane ticket to Thailand.

Finally, we have this hipster nudist crackpot in Portland, OR (where else?) whose idea of great art is to butcher a horse, cover herself up in blood, and crawl inside the carcass in a series of photos. I won't link to the full story because the pictures are NSFW or the sensitive. I'll just quote the relevant part of the article found on Seattle Weekly.com:

"The reason for climbing inside the animal was later explained to deputies as Lottin's desire to "be one with the animal."

That and her love of Star Wars.

From the police report:

Lottin said in the movie Star Wars the character Han Solo cut open and animal with his light saber and placed Luke Skywalker inside the animal. This was due to Luke freezing to death in cold weather. Lottin said there was nothing religious about what she did and didn't intend to offend anyone."

0.0

The other day I read that the FBI has now classified Insane Clown Posse's fans, called "Juggalos," as a gang. Given the amount of crime and bizarre behavior attributed to Star Wars fans, are we far behind? Would that make me an OG?
lazypadawan: (fail)
More Sithly crime sprees:

http://www.theforce.net/latestnews/story/Darth_Maul_Assailants_Attack_Cricket_Club_137242.asp

No word on whether they used double-ended metal bars. Too bad Obi-Wan wasn't around to cut them in half.
lazypadawan: (Default)
It looks like Darth "Palpatine" Sidious has joined his apprentice Lord Vader in the bank robbery racket. The most evil man in the universe is wanted for holding up two Denver banks:

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=154215&catid=188

No word on whether he used Force lightning.
lazypadawan: (vader)
Although based on the description, it sounds more like Chad Vader than the real Dark Lord of the Sith:

http://macombdaily.com/articles/2010/09/14/news/doc4c8fcf20b0510897228425.txt
lazypadawan: (wtf)
Her Universe was at Wizard World Chicago Comic Con last weekend, and its most (in)famous guest made some time to say howdy. Former Illinois governor/possible future resident of Club Fed Rod Blagojevich was at the con to sign autographs and meet fans--no, I didn't make that up--and I guess he couldn't resist the Star Wars goodies. Maybe the Mrs. or something is a fan. Maybe Blago loves him some Clone Wars. Who knew?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heruniverse/4926052365/in/set-72157624804779320/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heruniverse/4926649652/in/set-72157624804779320/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heruniverse/4926053633/in/set-72157624804779320/
lazypadawan: (vader)
A guy wearing a Darth Vader mask held up a bank in New York yesterday and got away with a whopping $440. Check out the guy cowering on the ground behind him:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100723/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_darth_vader_bandit_4

I'm sure it was scary for the bank employees and customers--there's a reason why I prefer drive-thru ATMs, especially with all of the local bank robberies--but folks can't help but post funny comments:

Anyone who's familiar with Anakin Skywalker's childhood had to have seen this coming. A child slave, single parent home, saving the galaxy at a young age, pod racing, drafted into the Jedi Knights, Obi-Wan as a father figure, a inappropriate relationship with a female senator, horribly scarred while fighting with Obi-Wan. Tatooine's social service policies in regards to young adults needs to be studied by Princess Leia.

I do have to wonder why crooks love to don SW costumes to commit their nefarious deeds. When was the last time you heard about Hobbits or Starfleet crew members knocking off a bank?
lazypadawan: (twisted by the Dark Side)
One thing that always gets my attention is the "way to represent" numbskull who combines fandom and crime. Whether it's the Chewbacca guy in Hollywood who groped a Marilyn Monroe and harassed Japanese tourists or the morons who ripped off a print of TPM from the movie theater, one could be forgiven for believing SW fans are as bad as fans of Insane Clown Posse or the Oakland Raiders. Especially since there are so many SW crime stories, TruTV has a gallery devoted to them:

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/photogallery/star-wars-crimes.html?curPhoto=1

The sad part is, there are a lot more crime stories than the ones listed in that gallery!
lazypadawan: (joyride)
A SW collector was busted near Seattle, WA for driving over 100 mph. Not only was his car full of SW goodies--I've been known to temporarily stash things in my trunk myself--the guy was attempting .5 past lightspeed in order to get home and put in an eBay bid on some SW collectible. It doesn't say what the collect-o-holic was trying to buy, but if it was the Bryan Morton Anakin sketch card I just snagged the other day...ha ha! As one of the commenters noted, the collector apparently hasn't heard of eBay Mobile or isn't tech savvy enough to use it.

Here's the full story, lame living-at-home-with-parents joke and all:

http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/seattle911/archives/163875.asp?from=blog_last3

But the best part is the comment section, full of funny SW puns and jokes. My favorite: "Before 'the Fall City driver' was the learner, now Trooper McDonald is the master."
lazypadawan: (wtf)
First came the news last week that the Welsh co-founder of the Jedi Church was attacked by drunk guy dressed in a Darth Vader mask and wielding a crutch ("Vader" went on to attack the news crew that was interviewing Rev. Jedi Dude).

Now, someone in Kansas has committed a robbery while wearing the mask of "a Star Wars character." Seriously, the character isn't specified:

http://www.koamtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=8109123

Yeah, that'll make it easy to find him!
lazypadawan: (kissintwins)
Again, not to turn this into TMZ.com, but actress/troublemaker Bai Ling, who had a small (cut) role as a senator in ROTS, was busted the other day at LAX for attempting to make a five-fingered discount:

http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=301020>1=7701&silentchk=1&

Look, if you're going to get in trouble with the law, don't do it for $16 worth of stuff.
lazypadawan: (wtf)
TFN posted yesterday about 27-year-old Landocalrissan (sic) Butler of Poughkeepsie, NY getting into a bit of trouble with the cops after he led them on a high speed car chase, hit another car, and for the kicker, possessed cocaine:

http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080208/NEWS05/80208042

Couldn't this guy's mom have just named him Lando if she just had to name him after a SW character? If she just had to include Lando's last name, why couldn't she have spelled it correctly? No wonder the guy is a crook and a crackhead.
lazypadawan: (wtf)
Remember the guy in the Chewbacca costume who headbutted a tour guide in Hollywood earlier this year? Looks like the wayward Wookiee has been up to no good again.

This time, "Chewie" is accused of grabbing a Marilyn Monroe impersonator outside of the Kodak Theater and placing her hand on his naughty bits. Now the cops are looking for him:

http://www.dailynews.com/ci_6328665

Now I'd like to know how someone in a Wookiee costume could flee unnoticed in broad daylight.

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