lazypadawan: (Default)
Just posted on the starwars.com YouTube channel:
lazypadawan: (Default)
In all of this time, I’d never heard of “Alien Exodus” until I saw a link on Twitter to a short article about it (which in turn has a link to a Wookieepedia entry.)

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Alien_Exodus

To sum it up, it was an expanded universe attempt in the 1990s to explain the origins of people in the SW Universe: Earthlings in the 25th century decide they had enough of the Big Blue Marble and its oppression so they travel BACK in time to several millennia ago in another galaxy, the SW galaxy. There, they are promptly turned into slaves again. D’oh! The even weirder part of this summary is that the proposed tale was going to tie in the whole Lucasverse.

The author of this proposed book, which never got the full ok and therefore was never published, posted what he’d written on his own web site:

http://www.sfwriter.com/alienout.htm

http://www.sfwriter.com/alien.htm
lazypadawan: (Default)
(Warning: This post and links are NOT for the faint-hearted)

First we have the bizarre and appalling (though as a Miami native, not entirely surprising to me) cannibal attack by a guy hepped up on "bath salts" and possibly under a voodoo spell:

http://miami.cbslocal.com/2012/05/31/girlfriend-recalls-rudy-eugenes-final-day/

It’s entirely feasible that zombies could migrate their way north in time for Celebration VI. And if anyone buys “bath salts” from the local Elan Sleazebaggano, just remember, I may very well have to shoot you. I’m not letting some fanboy or worse yet, a Celebration guest, eat my face, thank you very much.

But another zombie incident took place in New Jersey shortly thereafter, where a guy cut out his intestines and tossed them at the cops:

http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/05/31/zombie-alert-man-throws-his-own-intestines-at-police/

And now there's this sick bastard who sent severed body parts to a political HQ in Canada, now on the lam for being a murder suspect involving a snuff movie that included cannibalism. His previous claim to fame was killing kittens. Seriously, this story could give you nightmares. Proceed with caution:

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/05/31/luka-rocco-magnottas-family-awaiting-call-from-suspect-as-interpol-joins-manhunt/

If you'll excuse me, I'm picking up some gas masks and artillery before I hide out in my "Doomsday Preppers" shelter.

Ouch!

Jan. 29th, 2012 06:26 pm
lazypadawan: (brothers)
I still cannot believe a family program features a cartoon guy kneeing another cartoon guy in the cartoon nuts. Star Wars, no less!



What did I tell ya?
lazypadawan: (Default)
I read the news today that James Cameron is teaming up with Disney to produce a little Avatar-Land at Walt Disney World's Animal Kingdom park.

Okay, I know the movie made a lot of money. But I'm still saying, "Huh?" First off, the movie wasn't quite family fare, what with the infamous blue people sex scene. That aside, I find it typical of Cameron's lack of self-awareness that here's the uber-capitalist and ultra-commercial Disney turning his anti-free market, anti-human eco epic into some fancy high tech rides. Cameron did a great job with Terminator 3D at Universal but a whole section of a park dedicated to Avatar? Is there really a market for that? I have to wonder if we get to worship that big artificial tree at Animal Kingdom. Is there unobtanium underneath it? If there's an attraction where they turn you into a blue person, will they get your boobs in the same proportion? Will there be a Kill Your Own Kind shooting gallery? Are people in wheelchairs even allowed to enter the park or will they have to transfer themselves to a Smurf? Is it all going to be "green?"

Think I'll stick with Star Tours, thx.
lazypadawan: (wtf)
Who knew that Amanda Lucas, the 30-year-old daughter of Papa George, was hiding out in the Ivory Coast? Or that Papa George has actually been dead since 2003 (or was it 2007), possibly murdered at the hands of a nefarious uncle out to steal his billions? (Apparently the guy passing himself off as Lucas is a mere doppelganger.) Also, Skywalker Ranch is a sham...Lucas's real base of operations was in the Ivory Coast. The poor woman is so distraught she forgot she has a brother and a sister, that Marcia Lucas isn't dead, and that she is no longer a 21-year-old undergraduate. Perhaps the trauma is driving her to madness. But if you help her out, you'll get a cut of the $10,700,000 inheritance coming her way. Ten million? That's it?

From Scam of the Day:

http://scamoftheday.com/wordpress/2011/08/16/from-miss-amanda-lucas/
lazypadawan: (Default)
Whenever some obscure nation (or even some not-so-obscure places) wants to make a few extra bucks, it will produce licensed stamps and currency.

The latest one is the Pacific island of Niue, a possession of New Zealand, which is issuing silver and silver-plated Star Wars coins this November. With silver going up along with other precious metals these days, maybe I'll just put my whole 401K into buying a few sets of the silver ones:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14504568
lazypadawan: (Default)
Sandra Lee hosts "Semi Homemade," a Food Network show that features over-the-top decor, bizarre "recipes" from thrown-together ingredients, and cocktails. LOTS of cocktails.

It's too late to ruin for any of her Hanukkah ideas, but Christmas and Kwanzaa are still just around the corner!

Do you love to drink? Well, Sandra has a Christmas tree just for you lushes:



Barware as Christmas decorations! Gee, not even Martha Stewart has ever thought of that! I hear that originally Sandra wanted to put an angel holding a cosmo on top of the tree, but the producers thought that was in bad taste.

Now watch as Lee concocts this delicious Kwanzaa cake made entirely from, as one YouTube wag put it, ingredients you can buy at the gas station:



I love how Lee won't use the name Corn Nuts. ROTFL!
lazypadawan: (nerfherder)
I didn't have time until today to really sound off on what has to be the tackiest (and maybe the most sexist) licensed Star Wars item I've seen in a long time, if ever. Lucky shoppers who place an order on ShopStarWars.com before the end of the weekend get for free a Leia tip-n-strip pen. The pen has a pic of ANH Leia whose gown disappears and in its place is the slave girl bikini.

(Background info...tip-n-strip pens have a photo/drawing of a smiling centerfold model--male or female--fully clothed but if you tip the pen, the clothes seem to melt away to reveal a skimpy bathing suit or the model's birthday suit.)

The tip-n-strip pen is something I associate with ultra tacky tourist trap shops, the kind of place where you find t-shirts with sayings like "FCK...All That's Missing Is You!", fake poop, lighters in the shape of boobs or penises, marijuana leaf jewelry, and "objects d'art" featuring figures in various sexual positions. I've been to a lot of those places and no matter where in the world they're located--Greece, Mexico, the Caribbean, Northern Europe, some truck stop in the U.S. of A.--they always have the same stuff. Though in Tijuana, the souvenir shops also carry brass knuckles, numchucks, and knives. The only way I'd associate Star Wars with sleazy souvenirs is if they're unlicensed.

I guess Lucas Licensing decided to beat 'em to the punch with its first official Star Wars Tip-N-Strip Pen, though. Starring of course one of the lead heroines of the saga. Hey, what's next? An Ahsoka Tip-N-Strip Pen, personally endorsed by Roman Polanski and R. Kelly? How about a Padmé pen where all of her clothes are torn off by the nexu?

*lazypadawan throws a bucket of cold water on the horndog fanboys reading this.*

Unfortunately I don't see an Anakin Tip-N-Strip Pen for the ladies in the future because there aren't a lot of stills of ANY of the Star Wars dudes in any state of undress at all. Ponder that inequity a moment.

Now, I'm not sure what they're thinking to offer this pen as a freebie because for one thing, it's not appropriate for children. It's a longstanding adult gag gift; an awful lot of parents are going to be ordering things for their kids on ShopStarWars.com and I'm sure some moms out there aren't going to be pleased to find a tip-n-strip pen among the goodies.

For another thing, a lot of women are going to be ordering stuff for themselves. I don't think this is an item that's going to have a lot of appeal for them to say the least.

As [livejournal.com profile] ladyaeryn alluded to in her post on the same issue, it's supremely ironic a pen that removes the clothing from a heroine of the SW saga is on the market just after the "Yay, Star Wars Is For Girls Too" business in the wake of the little girl who got teased at school.

It's annoying that the only characters whose sexuality are regularly marketed are, you guessed it, the female ones. Hence the ratio of Slave Leia stuff meant for drooling fanboys vs. the ratio of Leia as just another one of the heroic characters. Or the ratio of stuff meant for drooling fanboys vs. drooling fangirls.
lazypadawan: (wtf)
From celebrity gossip/news site Amy Grindhouse.com:




The Mrs. wore a pig costume while their son Liam was the only normal one, dressed in a L.A. Dodgers uniform.
lazypadawan: (weddingkiss)
Were they up at 3 a.m. or high from that California medicinal marijuana when they came up with this bizarre idea for Celebration V? From starwars.com:

In our galaxy and "far, far away," love is the strongest Force of all. It is a power that surrounds us, drives us, and binds us together. And Star Wars fans will be able to express their deep commitment to their special someone at the Star Wars Celebration Chapel.

Choose between a "light side" and "dark side" ceremony, and have your union officiated by your choice of colorful characters from the Star Wars Saga -- and beyond!

All ceremonies are public, so invite family, friends, fellow fans... even enemies! All participants will receive exclusive Star Wars mementos to commemorate their commitment.

Sign-up online soon for an official "Save the Date!" More details to follow.

And remember what Master Yoda says: A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind.

The Force will be with you... always!


My reaction was, "WHAT?!!" If they wanted Las Vegas quickie weddings at the con, they should have just held the damn thing in Las Vegas! Let's walk through why I find this lame and offensive:

1. "Chapel" designates religion and even inadvertently making SW into some sort of pseudo religion makes me uncomfortable, which is why I've never had much respect for those Church of the Jedi whackadoodles.

2. It demeans marriage. Sure it's funny to see geeky-themed weddings and stuff but it is a serious adult undertaking. I hate to see people approach it like a bunch of little kids, flinging cake at each other and updating their Facebook status right there at the ceremony. Then they wonder why they're heading to divorce court a couple of years later. Standing up there and exchanging "vows" in a jokey kabuki display (see below) just makes a mockery out of the whole act of committing yourself to be with someone else exclusively for life. Especially when it's not real (see below).

3. No panels exploring the films in a meaningful, interesting way, no academic tracks, but we get stupid crap like this. Hey, Lucasfilm, I may not be the brightest star in the galaxy but I can at least measure my IQ in triple digits. How about something that enlightens and inspires for a change?

Oh and just in case you have questions like, "What about gay couples?" "What about people who want to marry a Wookiee?" or "Is this legal?" there's this fine print disclaimer at the end:

Commitment ceremony for enjoyment only; it does not grant any legal rights, and is not legally valid in any state (except your state of mind).

Keep that in mind ladies in case some douchebag fanboy tries to use this as an excuse to get in your pants.

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