OT: Top 10 Don'ts For Harry Potter Non-Fans
My involvement with HP fandom is limited to watching the movies on DVD, laughing at the badfic summaries at Summary Executions, and skimming through HP-related posts on the friends list. I believe three or four other people on LJ as a whole are also non-fans.
Now that it's the home stretch for our HP-addicted friends, there are some rules of etiquette non-fans should follow over the coming days. If you're a non-fan, don't:
10. Try to sound like you know what you're talking about in the HP universe when you don't. (If I had a dollar for every newspaper article that refers to HP fans as "muggles"…)
9. Tell your HP fan friends that with the book series ending, "you'll get a life now."
8. Say, "Harry Potter? Why the hell are you reading kids' books?"
7. Mock fans camping out in line when you camped out for an iPhone three weeks ago.
6. Protest at your local bookstore that HP is an agent of Satan and the books teach witchcraft.
5. Print up copies of some "erotic vampire" Draco/Harry fan fic, get them professionally bound, then try selling them on the street as "the new Harry Potter book."
4. Send out fake press releases to your HP fan friends announcing that "The Deathly Hallows" has been cancelled by the publisher.
3. Get in line at your local bookstore and start telling the little kids there that you heard Harry dies in the most horrible way possible.
2. Go to your local bookstore at midnight on the 21st, pick up a copy of the book, flip through it, and yell at the top of your lungs, "OMG, (blank) AND (blank) DIE!!!"
1. Get a job at the New York Times and post a spoilerific review of the book on the front page two days before the book comes out.
Now that it's the home stretch for our HP-addicted friends, there are some rules of etiquette non-fans should follow over the coming days. If you're a non-fan, don't:
10. Try to sound like you know what you're talking about in the HP universe when you don't. (If I had a dollar for every newspaper article that refers to HP fans as "muggles"…)
9. Tell your HP fan friends that with the book series ending, "you'll get a life now."
8. Say, "Harry Potter? Why the hell are you reading kids' books?"
7. Mock fans camping out in line when you camped out for an iPhone three weeks ago.
6. Protest at your local bookstore that HP is an agent of Satan and the books teach witchcraft.
5. Print up copies of some "erotic vampire" Draco/Harry fan fic, get them professionally bound, then try selling them on the street as "the new Harry Potter book."
4. Send out fake press releases to your HP fan friends announcing that "The Deathly Hallows" has been cancelled by the publisher.
3. Get in line at your local bookstore and start telling the little kids there that you heard Harry dies in the most horrible way possible.
2. Go to your local bookstore at midnight on the 21st, pick up a copy of the book, flip through it, and yell at the top of your lungs, "OMG, (blank) AND (blank) DIE!!!"
1. Get a job at the New York Times and post a spoilerific review of the book on the front page two days before the book comes out.