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Rejected Clone Wars Ideas
Jan. 21st, 2009 07:23 pmRecently on eBay I scored some balled-up sheets of paper full of scrawled notes that were dug from the bottom of Skywalker Ranch's dumpster for the low low price of $5. Lo and behold, they were rejected plot ideas for future Clone Wars episodes!
Here are some of the treasures we will never see on our small screens:
"Help Me, I Am In Hell"--Anakin and Ahsoka are transporting Senator Amidala on a secret diplomatic mission aboard the Twilight. The hyperdrive breaks down, leaving them all trapped deep in space. Worst of all, it's that time of the month for both the senator and Ahsoka...and there's no chocolate aboard! Can Anakin and Artoo fix the hyperdrive in time before he throws himself out of the airlock???
"That Was Terrible"--Count Dooku hopes to score an important propaganda victory for the Separatists by entering Asajj Ventress into the Galactic Idol singing contest. In response, the Jedi enter their premiere songbird, Ahsoka. This competition's gonna be a killer, dawg!
"The Big O"--Obi-Wan leads his clone troops to save a planet entirely inhabited by people who are only six inches tall.
"Rated Rex"--Captain Rex is chosen to appear in a beefcake calendar, "The Men Of The GAR," as Mr. July. Can he live down the embarrassing Speedos he has to wear for the holo shoot?
"Speed The Plo"--Master Plo Koon has a friendly wager with Anakin to see who can navigate in their starships the dangerous Swirlie Nebula the fastest...drunk.
"The Tears Of A Clone"--Anakin and Obi-Wan don't know what to do with an emo clonetrooper who just wants to write depressing poetry instead of shooting clankers.
"For The Boys"--The Jedi decide to put on a musical revue as a morale booster. There's singing and dancing the entire episode! Even the bad guys! (Brought to you by the writers of "That Was Terrible.")
"Grievous Versus Gungan"--It's a no-holds-barred battle between General Grievous and Jar Jar Binks...online in a MMO game!
Here are some of the treasures we will never see on our small screens:
"Help Me, I Am In Hell"--Anakin and Ahsoka are transporting Senator Amidala on a secret diplomatic mission aboard the Twilight. The hyperdrive breaks down, leaving them all trapped deep in space. Worst of all, it's that time of the month for both the senator and Ahsoka...and there's no chocolate aboard! Can Anakin and Artoo fix the hyperdrive in time before he throws himself out of the airlock???
"That Was Terrible"--Count Dooku hopes to score an important propaganda victory for the Separatists by entering Asajj Ventress into the Galactic Idol singing contest. In response, the Jedi enter their premiere songbird, Ahsoka. This competition's gonna be a killer, dawg!
"The Big O"--Obi-Wan leads his clone troops to save a planet entirely inhabited by people who are only six inches tall.
"Rated Rex"--Captain Rex is chosen to appear in a beefcake calendar, "The Men Of The GAR," as Mr. July. Can he live down the embarrassing Speedos he has to wear for the holo shoot?
"Speed The Plo"--Master Plo Koon has a friendly wager with Anakin to see who can navigate in their starships the dangerous Swirlie Nebula the fastest...drunk.
"The Tears Of A Clone"--Anakin and Obi-Wan don't know what to do with an emo clonetrooper who just wants to write depressing poetry instead of shooting clankers.
"For The Boys"--The Jedi decide to put on a musical revue as a morale booster. There's singing and dancing the entire episode! Even the bad guys! (Brought to you by the writers of "That Was Terrible.")
"Grievous Versus Gungan"--It's a no-holds-barred battle between General Grievous and Jar Jar Binks...online in a MMO game!
