lazypadawan's Holocron

Via Chase Masterson's Twitter:

https://twitter.com/ChaseMasterson/status/223860587787063296/photo/1

I don't know what Obi-Wan did...maybe he drank too much at a nearby cantina. Maybe he attempted to pick a duel with Anakin or take Jango Fett into custody, and Jango wasn't about to go anywhere. Maybe Darth Maul set him up. In any case, let's hope the Jedi Council puts up bail and all Obi-Wan gets is a fine and probation.

What's more embarrassing than calling yourself "Obiwan Kenobi?" Calling yourself Obiwan Kenobi and getting arrested for a hit and run:

http://www.news10.net/news/local/article/191485/2/Obiwan-Kenobi-goes-to-the-dark-side?hpt=ju_bn6

At least have the decency to limit your failings to little white lies, snarky comments about insignificant life forms, drinking on the job, letting your former best friend burn to death, and setting up your former best friend's son into committing patricide. Hit and run? That's inexcusable. Not even Juggalos do that, bro.

Apparently Chewie has some thug friends in the F-state:

http://www.torontosun.com/2011/12/09/chewbacca-wanted-in-s-florida-shooting

Dear World,

I hang my head in shame and embarrassment at the antics of the following "Star Wars Fans."

First we have a German guy dressed as Yoda busted for DUI and hitting a pedestrian (no serious injuries) on the way back from a Halloween party:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/11/01/German-Yoda-charged-with-drunk-driving/UPI-45501320134400/

Next, we have a man in England just convicted for murdering his wife after she allegedly trashed his Star Wars collectibles during an argument. I know how I'd feel if somebody destroyed my collection but I don't think I'd go to death row for it either:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8865509/Wife-strangled-after-smashing-up-husbands-Star-Wars-toys.html

Dude, you should have just ponied up for that plane ticket to Thailand.

Finally, we have this hipster nudist crackpot in Portland, OR (where else?) whose idea of great art is to butcher a horse, cover herself up in blood, and crawl inside the carcass in a series of photos. I won't link to the full story because the pictures are NSFW or the sensitive. I'll just quote the relevant part of the article found on Seattle Weekly.com:

"The reason for climbing inside the animal was later explained to deputies as Lottin's desire to "be one with the animal."

That and her love of Star Wars.

From the police report:

Lottin said in the movie Star Wars the character Han Solo cut open and animal with his light saber and placed Luke Skywalker inside the animal. This was due to Luke freezing to death in cold weather. Lottin said there was nothing religious about what she did and didn't intend to offend anyone."

0.0

The other day I read that the FBI has now classified Insane Clown Posse's fans, called "Juggalos," as a gang. Given the amount of crime and bizarre behavior attributed to Star Wars fans, are we far behind? Would that make me an OG?

It looks like Darth "Palpatine" Sidious has joined his apprentice Lord Vader in the bank robbery racket. The most evil man in the universe is wanted for holding up two Denver banks:

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=154215&catid=188

No word on whether he used Force lightning.

Her Universe was at Wizard World Chicago Comic Con last weekend, and its most (in)famous guest made some time to say howdy. Former Illinois governor/possible future resident of Club Fed Rod Blagojevich was at the con to sign autographs and meet fans--no, I didn't make that up--and I guess he couldn't resist the Star Wars goodies. Maybe the Mrs. or something is a fan. Maybe Blago loves him some Clone Wars. Who knew?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heruniverse/4926052365/in/set-72157624804779320/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heruniverse/4926649652/in/set-72157624804779320/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/heruniverse/4926053633/in/set-72157624804779320/

One thing that always gets my attention is the "way to represent" numbskull who combines fandom and crime. Whether it's the Chewbacca guy in Hollywood who groped a Marilyn Monroe and harassed Japanese tourists or the morons who ripped off a print of TPM from the movie theater, one could be forgiven for believing SW fans are as bad as fans of Insane Clown Posse or the Oakland Raiders. Especially since there are so many SW crime stories, TruTV has a gallery devoted to them:

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/photogallery/star-wars-crimes.html?curPhoto=1

The sad part is, there are a lot more crime stories than the ones listed in that gallery!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081209/ap_on_fe_st/odd_mission_to_steal

At least he didn't try to pass himself off as Darth Caedus.

Again, not to turn this into TMZ.com, but actress/troublemaker Bai Ling, who had a small (cut) role as a senator in ROTS, was busted the other day at LAX for attempting to make a five-fingered discount:

http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=301020>1=7701&silentchk=1&

Look, if you're going to get in trouble with the law, don't do it for $16 worth of stuff.

Remember the guy in the Chewbacca costume who headbutted a tour guide in Hollywood earlier this year? Looks like the wayward Wookiee has been up to no good again.

This time, "Chewie" is accused of grabbing a Marilyn Monroe impersonator outside of the Kodak Theater and placing her hand on his naughty bits. Now the cops are looking for him:

http://www.dailynews.com/ci_6328665

Now I'd like to know how someone in a Wookiee costume could flee unnoticed in broad daylight.