lazypadawan's Holocron

Sorry, wrong song ;).

The very first Star Wars film was unleashed upon the world 35 years ago today with all of the subtlety of a nuclear bomb. Oh sure, "they" didn't expect much from it but the people proved "them" wrong. In an era long before Twitter or Facebook, word got around very quickly that "Star Wars" (it wasn't ANH until 1979) was something special. The underlying story and themes were older than dirt but there was still nothing quite like it before or, even in our blockbuster-saturated age, since. There hasn't been any other movie within my lifetime that really affected people and the culture in a permanent way like this one did.

I first heard about the movie shortly before it came out from my dad. I wanted to see "Carrie"--a movie a little too big for my 7-year-old britches--but my dad said, "You're too young to see that. We'll see Star Wars; it's coming out soon." Oh okay, whatever.

Then I saw the advance ads in the newspaper and found the novelization in the bookstore, the kind they used to have with movie photos in the middle of the paperback. I looked through the pictures--I didn't actually look at the text for some reason--and seriously, I thought Obi-Wan was Leia's dad or something. I figured the gist of it was some princess is abducted and all of these people were out to go rescue her.

The good news was a theater in town was one of the lucky 32 screens to get the film opening day (Valley Circle, R.I.P.). The bad news was it was one of the lucky 32 screens to get the film opening day. Everybody from miles and miles around descended upon the theater, creating huge lines visible from the freeway. My parents concocted a plan to see the film during the week, pulling my brother and I out of school for a "doctor's appointment." This taught me a valuable lesson: Star Wars is more important than anything, including school. (Three years later, I skipped CCD to see TESB; let's hope God is in a good mood on Judgment Day.)

There still was a line on that June day in 1977, but we only had to wait one show to see the film. I'll never forget what a carnival it was, complete with people hawking homemade buttons and a lady trying to cast kids for a commercial. The funny part was my dad, on hooky from work, ran into somebody else from his office. Heh heh.

When we got home, the first thing my brother and I did was draw all of the characters. We couldn't remember everybody's name!

So started the madness that afflicts me to this day.

Here's an interesting essay from a Christian standpoint on Star Wars. What I love about it is that here's a guy who takes the big picture look at the saga:

http://oldlineelephant.com/2012/02/18/on-star-wars-and-redemption/

10. Princess Leia

Oh sure, everybody loves her. She’s pure-hearted, just, and believes in freedom for the galaxy. She kicks a lot of butt.

But she’s also the kind of gal who will run your butt from one end of Hoth base to the other. Leaders like her are very demanding, even if they do say please and thank you. If you screw up and Her Worshipfulness is in a bad mood, i.e. Han did something to tick her off, watch out. She can’t Force choke you like her Pops but she’s armed with something almost as lethal: her cutting sarcasm.

9. Grand Moff Tarkin

He’s gentlemanly and seems like a very nice guy. Even if I had no problem with his willingness to destroy a planet mostly full of innocents, I do have a problem with a boss willing to risk his 1,000,000 employees’ lives after an analyst advises him there’s a danger the Rebel’s attack plan could succeed. Tarkin is willing to go down with the ship but that’s his business. Why take everybody else with him?

8. Watto

It’s bad enough he’s cranky, gruff, and probably cheap. Bad enough that is if you’re getting paid. With Watto you DON’T get paid. Benefits? You get to live in a crappy dusty hovel. And if you try to quit, all he has to do is push a button and you’re blown to pieces. Where do I sign up?/sarc

7. Admiral Ozzel

You just can’t respect a moron, especially one who could get you killed because he couldn’t surprise the enemy the right way.

6. Count Dooku

As evidenced by AOTC and CW, Dooku doesn’t treat his employees very well. He hangs his contractors out to dry. He betrays his employees when it’s convenient and then tries to kill them. What a jerk.

5. Jabba the Hutt

Talk about a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen! Not to mention hostile co-workers, unsanitary conditions, Jabba’s temperamental behavior, man-eating pets, and the added bonus of getting killed by Luke and his friends just because you happen to be there.

4. General Grievous

He prefers to hire droids, which is just as well because he treats them like dirt. Always pushing them out of the way and yelling at them. When push comes to shove, he runs away, leaving his underlings to be destroyed by a lightsaber blade or explosion.

3. Darth Vader

Vader has zero tolerance for error and couldn’t care less about being fair. He bullies the Imperial officers in his command and it’s obvious he has no respect for most of them. He just wants it when he wants it and if you can’t deliver, he chokes you then promotes the next guy in line. He’ll remind you over and over that you’re expendable. But what else would you expect from a guy who choked his own wife, tortured his daughter, and maimed his son?

2. Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious

The man tricks and manipulates you into working for him and what do you get in return? You get maimed, burned, and ultimately betrayed when someone better comes along. The only upward mobility there is among the Sith is to kill your boss and your boss knows it. Oh by the way, your boss is way more powerful than you are. Talk about a dead end job.

1. General Krell

You can at least admire Palpatine’s intelligence or Vader’s willingness to fly alongside regular pilots and get into the thick of battle. Watto has a teensy tiny soft spot. Jabba is at least a great crime boss who managed to hold on to his mini-empire for a long time.

But Krell sits on his rear at the rear, callously lets his men get killed, and threatens any peon who looks at him the wrong way. Ruffle his feathers and he’ll call for your execution. WTF? Unlike almost everyone on my list, he’s not a Sith, an ally of evil, a slave owner, or a criminal. He’s supposed to be a GOOD guy!

He’s not fair. He’s not just. And worst of all, he’s not even competent, except I suppose with a lightsaber.

The sad part is, I’m sure many of you have encountered a real-life Krell!

I bring up Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds' "Red Right Hand" while commenting on knight_ander's LJ and all of a sudden I get nostalgic for the song, which I haven't listened to in a while. The song overall fits Sidious rather well ("he'll wrap you in his arms/tell you that you've been a good boy/He'll rekindle all the dreams/it took you a lifetime to destroy") but especially this part:

You're one microscopic cog
in his catastrophic plan
Designed and directed by
his red right hand

There's a fic idea in here somewhere! In case some of you were wondering, I did get the title of my epic-length fan fic "The Mercy Seat" from the Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds song of the same name ;). Maybe I need to listen to Nick Cave more often for inspiration, heh heh.

Some f-listers have been posting their headcanon about various SW characters, little known facts about characters they write about in their fan fics. Some have very elaborate and very specific ideas on these things.

I tend to keep stuff like that close to my chest and I also don’t get terribly invested in them because when it comes to SW, things can change at a moment’s notice. Who knew six years ago that Anakin would ever have an apprentice? Who knew until last week that Sy Snootles was capable of cold-blooded murder? Who knew in 1982 that Leia was Luke’s twin sister? Who would have guessed in 1977 that Darth Vader was Luke’s father?

Still, I have a few ideas big and small about the SW universe that have yet to be shattered by real canon that do affect what I write in my fics:

1. Obi-Wan as a kid asks the crèche master one day who his real parents were. He is told his mother was a courtesan and his father was some functionary in the diplomatic corps. They were unmarried and the courtesan offered up her son because the Jedi could provide a better life for her talented tot. When Obi-Wan’s a little older, he realizes other younglings and padawans are told similar tales. When Obi-Wan is about 20 years older, he recognizes the value of the Little White Lie. Though the crèche master was truthful about the guy in the diplomatic corps. Obi-Wan’s surname was chosen from a directory on his home world.

2. Qui-Gon is an ethnic Corellian. For sure. Since the Jedi Order scooped him up, he is not one of those wackadoodle Corellian We Can Do Whatever We Want Jedi from the EU.

3. Shmi Skywalker is Force-sensitive. Maybe it’s my Catholic bias showing, but only someone with midichlorian mojo in her own blood could handle carrying The Chosen One. Unfortunately, her talents are modest and fading by the time Qui-Gon shows up and she is long since past the time where she could be trained.

4. Palpatine believes he is the Sith’ari, kind of the Sith version of the Messiah. His accomplishment in destroying the Jedi Order, turning the Chosen One into his apprentice, and ruling the galaxy pretty much confirms that belief.

5. I know this one is precarious, but I think Cad Bane ultimately trains Boba Fett. Aurra Sing taught him how to be merciless. Bane will finish up the rest of his education. (Plz, Dave, make this come true!)

6. Luke and Leia are gifted with all kinds of oddball powers no known Jedi was able to possess, and with Palpatine a goner and the Dark Side’s shadow abated, these powers start to become more obvious (EU notwithstanding).

7. Leia in particular is gifted with an extremely high IQ.

8. For years, the Naberries refuse to publicly discuss Padme’s death or her mysterious pregnancy. Privately, they believe she was involved with Anakin and think that perhaps she was murdered for that reason. By who, they’re not sure. Ruwee dies too soon, still broken-hearted by his daughter’s death. Eventually Sola tries to investigate on her own what really happened, only to be told by Bail Organa that she was playing with fire. Since her daughter exhibits an interest in the Imperial Senate, she backs off.

9. Darth Vader and the Imperial officer corps have a mutual loathing society thing happening. Vader thinks many of them are there because they’re good at kissing @$$, came from the right families, or got moved up because they screwed up (*cough*Ozzel*cough*). The Imperial officers believe Vader is some kind of creepy caped weirdo and don’t like him second-guessing them. One of the few exceptions is Piett. He and Vader get each other.

10. Vader however, has a different relationship with his troops and pilots. He genuinely respects them and looks out for them, and in return they are extremely loyal. It’s an honor among stormies and TIE pilots to serve alongside him. This goes back to Anakin’s relationship with the clonetroopers during the Clone Wars.

11. Vader and Tarkin haaate each other’s guts. Vader so doesn’t miss Tarkin after that little mishap at the end of ANH. He tells Palpatine that he will never serve alongside a systems governor ever again. Vader hates those guys even more than he hates the Imperial officer corps.

12. Vader thinks the Empire is a huge disappointment but it’s a preferable alternative to the chaos of the Rebellion and the return of a corrupt galactic Republic. He still thinks democracy doesn’t work. You just need the right person in charge.

Of course, there's more...

Now that the Mandalore arc of CW episodes introducing Duchess Satine Kryze (a.k.a. Obi's ex) have aired, we have a fairly good idea of who she is as a character. She's certainly large and in-charge, one of the most self-possessed cartoon characters I have ever seen. She is principled and feels very strongly about her ideals. But are those ideals unrealistic and is she way too hard on those who don't share them?

The writers are smart enough to give Satine's pacifism-at-any-cost cover when Obi-Wan explains that some kind of civil war on Mandalore nearly killed off her people. You can understand why someone who believes her planet's violent culture nearly destroyed it (of course we have to take everyone's word for what happened) would be very, very adverse to violence of any kind. I can definitely understand why anyone, pacifist or not, would not want to be part of the Republic's tiff with the Separatists; I always say that Sidious's plans would have gone up in smoke had everyone just shrugged and told the Separatists to DLTDHYOTWO.

But as far as Satine is concerned, she is so determined to stick to her principles, I have to wonder if she would do anything at all to defend her planet. The Death Watch guys keep setting off bombs and trying to kill her, but what is she going to do about it? I can understand not wanting outsiders to interfere, but if I were a Mandalore citizen, she'd get a zero approval rating from me for homeland security. At one point during "Voyage of Temptation," she says that even extremists can be reasoned with. No, they can't. That's why they're extremists. In any case, I saw no attempt on her part to reason with Death Watch and they only want her deposed with extreme prejudice.

Now, Satine's occasionally self-righteous tone and speechifying on violence isn't so much motivated by ideology as it is motivated by her feelings about Obi-Wan. Why do I think so? I've noticed she only directs it at Obi-Wan. She never lectures Anakin about his violent ways, not even after he shish-kebabs that bad guy in "Voyage." I think she's mad at him for leaving her but still has some soft fuzzy feelings for him, which makes her even angrier.

In any case, Satine has additional cover from the fact we all know the Clone Wars are a means to an evil end. This is the second or third time pacifism has come up on the show (the only non-pacifist who seems suspicious of the Republic is that Twi'lek guy from Season One's Ryloth arc) but I've noticed that pacifism isn't brought up as a virtue in anything set during Episodes IV-VI. At least not that I can remember. What would have Satine done during the time of the Empire, or the Rebellion? I imagine she would have fought to keep Mandalore out of the Empire and failing that, out of the war with the Rebels. But Eps IV-VI make it clear that evil had to be stopped, even through violence if necessary. Not because the Alliance was full of crazy bloodthirsty Huns but because it was the only way to stop an aggressive enemy. If Mandalore's back was up against the wall, where the only alternative was slavery and oppression, what would she have done?

One ongoing debate that has lingered lo these 27 years since ROTJ came out was whether Papa George should have listened to Harrison Ford's suggestion that Han end the saga pushing up daisies. Ford felt there was nowhere else for the character to go and the noble thing to do was to sacrifice himself for the cause or something. Lucas didn't take Ford's suggestion and Han ends up at the Ewok bbq frolicking through the night.

That alone would have been enough incentive for me to keep the curmudgeonly Ford around for the finale ;). In fact, I probably would have included scenes of Han wearing a silly hat and doing a conga line with a bunch of Ewoks just to tick him off further. Look, I may have been a very cynical 14-year-old when I first read about Ford advocating the death of his character, but it was obvious to me he was trying absolutely positively to ensure he would never have to play the role again should Lucas decide to do Episodes 7-9. It has been written that Ford only decided to do ROTJ out of loyalty to Lucas and Co., not because he was dying to cuddle Chewbacca one more time. I don't know if there's any truth to that per se, but Ford was really done with the whole thing, especially since his own career as a leading man was taking off.

Prior to ROTJ's release, many people seriously thought the Grim Reaper was going to come for one of the major characters. Was it going to be Luke? Was it going to be Leia? Think of the speculation prior to the release of "Harry Potter and The Deadly Hallows." But the OT3 and their immediate friends live to see the galaxy free. Even Wedge survives.

Some fans have come to think that whacking Han would have been a great idea, adding depth to ROTJ because victory would have come at a cost to the main characters. After all, who else on the good guy team dies besides a bunch of no-name Rebel pilots and an Ewok or two? There was a rampant urban legend during the 1990s that Lando was slated for death but Lucas changed his mind at the last minute. Goshdurn it, these fans thought, SOMEBODY should have croaked!!!

I've always argued against the idea of killing off Han, that Lucas made the right call and Ford can take comfort in the fact that there will be no Episode 7 with him in it. Why was it smart that Han lived?

1. The Saga Needed A Happy Ending

Despite what many fans think, the overall story of the SW saga is a hopeful one where ultimately good wins out over evil. Therefore, it only makes sense that the very last film in the series end on a high note. Maybe even a triumphant and joyous one. The death of a very popular lead character/hero would have been too somber of a conclusion and probably would have greatly disappointed moviegoers (I separate "moviegoers" from "fanboys"). It really would have ticked off the legions of women on Team Han too ;). If you look at it now in the full context of the entire series, there's already a high body count of much-loved characters like Qui-Gon, Padme, and so forth. ROTS ends with most of the lead characters dead, in hiding, or with nothing else to do but flack for the Emperor. ROTJ ends with the fellowship of the whatever intact. Survival in itself is part of the triumph.

Before anyone starts muttering about how much more sophisticated and deep it would have been for ROTJ to end with the main characters crying over Han's grave, you have to remember who this was originally made for. The kids. There's a reason why J.K. Rowling let Harry and his friends live at the end. Or why the Hobbits, Aragorn, etc. all got to survive the LOTR books (even Gandalf returns from the dead). These tales were created for young people and they need to see that they can persevere because the characters they love persevere.

Now C.S. Lewis took out almost his whole family of heroes, but they got to go to heaven, er, Narnia forever, so it was all good. And even that has remained controversial to this day.

It isn't say sacrifices aren't made on the good guys' team...

2. The Ultimate Sacrifice Was Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker

There was no need to have Luke, Han, or Leia sacrifice themselves because Vader giving his own life was so much more meaningful than getting blown up or shot by some flunkie stormtrooper with a miraculously fortunate aim. Absorbing Sidious's voltage to save Luke was literally the turning point for Vader, allowing him to fulfill what he was created to do: destroy the Sith and bring balance to the Force. Even if we didn't know that yet in 1983, what Vader does saves Luke's life, ends the Emperor's reign, and ensures that there would be future Jedi. It's pretty hard to top that.

3. The H/L Subplot Would Have No Point

They went through an awful lot of trouble in TESB to pair up Han and Leia and there was an awful lot of trouble to bail Han out of Jabba's palace. Why go through all of that if it's ultimately for naught? Leia is left alone broken-hearted, screwed by fate because she dared give her heart to someone after a great deal of reluctance. Everyone wasted their time saving a man destined to die by the end of the movie anyway. Yeah, that sounds great to me. The Han/Leia scenes in both films would serve as mere padding instead of building toward the happy ending that Anakin and Padmé never got.

But, what if say, Leia discovers at the end, once Han is committed to Valhalla, that she is carrying lil' Han? See, she could just raise the kid with Luke and that would be all good, right? Well, you forget…we're talking about a PG-rated, popular-with-kids movie made in 1983, long before it became fashionable for celebrities to have children out of wedlock. Lucas even made darn sure Anakin made an honest woman out of Padmé long before any twins came along and that was less than 10 years ago. Not an acceptable option.

Could they have deep-sixed the brother-sister relationship between Luke and Leia and ended the saga with them together? Well, the problem is it would look like Leia is just going back to Luke on the rebound. (Great, you pay attention to me now the other hunk is dead.) Luke becomes a consolation prize, sloppy seconds. Besides, there's little ground work between the two of them to form that kind of relationship anyway. All of the UST from the get-go was really between Leia and Han. Luke and Leia are always close, but never in my opinion that kind of close. Any kind of sizzle would have to have been dredged up out of nowhere. And it would only emphasize the futility of Han and Leia's pairing in the first place. Han would be nothing more than a placeholder until Leia finally discovered her true love was Luke, though I doubt it would be true since it would take Han's death for her to figure that out.

Sorry, Harry, I think Lucas was right. Now, when are you going to play Han again, hmm?

A few sites have linked to this essay that supposed challenges assumptions about Star Wars:

http://www.popmatters.com/pm/column/116083-what-if-were-all-mythtaken-about-star-wars/P0/

I read through it and while there are some nice/interesting things in there (he has a FEW nice things to say about TPM and considers ROTJ his favorite), a lot of it consists of the same old tropes I've heard ad nauseum: CGI sucks, Anakin was too whiney, the dialogue sucks, etc., etc..

And I do take exception to the assertion there's no memorable dialogue in TESB. "I love you/I know?" "No, I am your father?" "No disintegrations?" The author can quote an obscure comic series off the top of his head but can't think of any memorable lines from TESB? Ohhkay.

The whole thing sounds like it was written by an embarrassed, recovering basher. Why are there so many disappointing essays on Star Wars?

I'm reading the current SW Insider and it has a couple of short Q&As with Carrie Fisher. Fisher always manages to have something interesting to say. She was asked what she thinks Leia's relationship with Padmé would have been like had Padmé lived long enough to raise her. She noted that she can relate to Leia having a better looking mom, although lp will note that Leia was quite cute back in the day herself. But she also said that she could see Leia seriously rebelling.

It's actually a pretty interesting thing to ponder. I think Leia would be a handful for anyone: smart, very sure of herself, and Anakin's temperament to boot. She would be a Daddy's Girl (and it seems very likely she was Bail's Daddy's Girl) more so than a Mommy's Girl. I can easily see Padmé stressing over Leia's bluntness and her penchant for older scoundrels. Leia could throw it right back at Padmé for her cougarish pursuit of forbidden Jedi. And don't even think of trying to get Leia to wear any of those elaborate Naboo outfits. The hair buns were probably enough for her. But I think in the end, Padmé would be very proud of Leia.

There are the things that among the hardcores in SW fandom and among the media that are accepted as true. But are they really true? Let me argue otherwise:


Trope: Luke is a whiner

Fact: Luke is often unfairly characterized as a whiner, often by fanboys who think an earnest, gentle, relatively nice guy isn't cool enough for them. If you really pay attention to the movies, Luke is whiny in a couple of scenes in ANH. Most notable is the first scene where we "meet" him and he whines about going to pick up some power converters instead of having to clean up Artoo and Threepio. But that's the point. Luke is barely out of his teens and pretty much acts like it. How many 19/20 year old guys would rather do chores than hang out with their buddies? Especially if they lived on a dusty desert farm on a crummy planet? Over the course of his adventures though, Luke matures. I didn't think he was whiny in TESB or in ROTJ. Especially not in ROTJ. He protests here and there, but if you're going to count the occasional complaint or question about why patricide is an awesome idea, wouldn't that make just about every SW character a whiner?

Trope: Anakin is a creepy stalker

Fact: Anakin might have plenty of issues but stalking isn't one of them. Having intense feelings for someone doesn't unto itself make you a "stalker." Anakin didn't spend those interim 10 years following Padme around, taking pictures of her, sending her lots of unwanted letters and comlink calls, or trying to peek into her house. Unlike a guy from another fandom I could mention, he's not secretly in her bedroom watching her sleep ;). People base their assertion Anakin's a stalker on a comment in AOTC that Padme shut her security cameras off because she didn't like Anakin watching her and on the "oh noez u r making me uncomfortable" stare during the packing scene. Padme wasn't really creeped out by Anakin. If she was, why the hell would she agree to go off alone with him? No, it's the reaction most women would have if there was a mutual attraction. The woman wants to preserve her "mystery" so to speak until the time of her choosing. Anakin's amused because he knows he's gotten to her. When Padme makes it clear later on in the film that they cannot proceed any further with a romantic relationship, Anakin backs off. A real stalker wouldn't care if the woman wants his attention or not. This is why we have things called "restraining orders." It's not until Padme declares her love for him that Anakin behaves romantically toward her again.

Trope: Midichlorians sucked all of the mystery out of the Force

Fact: Midichlorians seemed really offensive to the peanut gallery until ROTS hinted that maybe, just maybe, manipulation of the little buggers by Darth Plageuis created Anakin the Demon Spawn. In that case, it's cool. But a few still say that the Force was some cool mystical thing until the midichlorian explanation ruined it. These are the kind of people who would let a physics class turn them into atheists. All the midichlorian thing does is explain why some people have greater ability in the Force than others. After all, Obi-Wan wasn't training Han and Chewie how to be Jedi. If it were that simple, the Order wouldn't have been wiped out and even if their numbers were seriously culled, all you had to do was find an instruction book and train a whole new army of them just like that. The midichlorians serve as a baseline as well; we know Yoda is way powerful, so he has a high concentration of them. Displaying that Anakin's count is even higher illustrates two things: Anakin is different from other sentient beings including other Jedi and his potential outstrips EVERYONE before him. This adds to the story of his fall. It doesn't change what the Force is.

My favorite explanation of why the midis were a good plot device: without them, Palpatine may as well have spent his time worrying about Han Solo's birth and Wedge's growing skills as a pilot.

Trope: Uncle Owen is a mean ol' bastard

Fact: As I've noted on someone else's meta on this subject, I'd seen countless stories in fanzines where Uncle Owen is portrayed as a bitter, jealous, resentful meanie. You'd think Owen and Beru were like the Dursleys, forcing Luke to live in a closet until Obi-Dumbledore shows up to take him away. Owen is very much the sort of guy who believes in what's right in front of him. He's not a dreamer. He is cranky and gruff. But he's not cruel. You don't see him beat Luke or anything. Owen is what you'd call a threshold guardian but that doesn't make him a bad guy. Some fans make hay out of his comment that Luke better have the moisture vaporators fixed or there will be "hell to pay," but it could mean anything from "I'm going to ground him" to "we're screwed financially." I also think Owen was genuinely frightened for what could happen to Luke should he venture out into the wider galaxy. He saw what his stepbrother was like after all and he had to have known the Sith would want Luke in their clutches if they knew about him.

There are more, but maybe I'll get to those in another post...