Sorta OT: The sacred cows of fandom

Count me among those who are not running out this weekend to see Watchmen. I've read parts of the original graphic novel and while it was something for its time--this was just before the late '80s/'90s tsunami of adult-oriented, R-rated graphic novels/comics --it just wasn't my cup of chai. I can't get into Alan Moore's nihilistic view of the world. The premise is an interesting one: what kind of nut dresses up in costumes and goes on vigilante missions anyway, and isn't it scary someone who's off-kilter has immense power at the same time? But Moore explores these ideas from the bleakest and yuckiest angle possible.

Moreover, the older I get, the less inclined I am to lose three valuable hours of my time witnessing such spectacles as a dead six-year-old girl's leg getting nommed upon by dogs or a blue man's CGI junk hanging out in your face. No. Thank. You. I could barely sit through the odious Sin City, one of those rare special films where there's so much brutality onscreen you start to feel brutalized just by watching it.

I am however aware there are many a fanboy eager for this kind of entertainment and Watchmen is one of those things among comics fans that you absolutely must adore in order to be taken seriously within those circles. With the film's buzz, that has extended to film geeks as well. And when that happens, God help anyone who dares to offer a differing opinion. There's a blogger who did a review of the film yesterday and it was abundantly clear she was disgusted by the film. Some of what she wrote in her review was unfair and over-the-top in the same way Roger Ebert's review of Fanboys unfairly swiped at SW fandom (which he later clarified/apologized for). But many of the responses she got were appalling. None of these people have yet seen the movie while this blogger had, but that didn't matter. She dared to criticize something they consider untouchable, and that's the presumed awesomeness of Watchmen.

It's not the first time something like this happened. When film critic Richard Roeper wrote some less-than-complimentary things about one of the LOTR movies some years ago, he got death threats. Look at Jimmy Mac's personal and unnecessary flame out of Ebert from a couple of weeks ago (that was for a slam on SW fans mind you, not the movies themselves).

We've all read infuriating things written about SW over the years and I've responded to quite a few of them. But I also know that the credibility of your response depends on what you say and how you say it. Moreover, you have to remind yourself that even if you think the guy is full of crap and a moron and you wouldn't pee on him to save him if he were on fire, he does have a right to his opinion and not everyone in the world is going to love whatever it is the way you do. The blogger who reviewed Watchmen was very specific in why she didn't like the movie. Anybody who has read the original book has to know it's not for everyone.

Fans are very attached to what they love and they're protective of it. But I also know the backlash can be a real bee-yotch. Today's heretic is tomorrow's "gee, she was right."

Five Of The Weirdest Things I've Done For SW

The thing about fandom is things that would seem really strange to the rest of the world are perfectly within the realm of normal among fans. So it becomes hard to nail down just what would be "weird." I've never camped out for the movies, I don't have a big ol' Rebel logo tramp stamp, and I haven't outfitted my car to look like an X-Wing. I have a large collection but nowhere near in the range of the supercollectors out there. I have my stash of naughty fan fic, but I prefer canon hetero ships. And costuming in public? Feh, even dogs wear costumes these days.

But there are some things I've done that are odd in the name of fandom, particularly as a collector. Here are five of the weirdest things I've done for SW:

1. Collecting the freegan way

It was a hot Saturday afternoon in June 1999. I'm driving through a Taco Bell parking lot in Reston, VA and what did I spy but a Sebulba cup sitting on the curbside. There were no cars parked around it. I guessed somebody drank their Fanta or whatever out of the cup and left it instead of dumping it in the trash. Well, I needed a Sebulba cup to complete my collection of Taco Bell/TPM cups and here was one I could get for free.

I parked next to the cup, got out of my car, and checked the cup for damage. It was in perfect condition. It was still a little heavy with fluid on the inside. So I opened the plastic top and dumped out whatever was in there. Thankfully, it was just what looked like melted ice water. Then I took the cup home, washed it, and stashed it away in my collection bins. Go me! I have also grabbed a few of those TPM Pepsi cans out of the trash if I needed them and kept an eye out for the recycling bin. I considered picking up an empty Queen Amidala pizza box left by the trash but there was too much grease inside of it. And it still took me a while to decide against walking off with it.

2. The Multiplex Shuffle

In November 1996, trailers for the Special Editions were running with the animated/live action hybrid Space Jam, starring Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny. This movie was definitely not aimed at my demographic but I didn’t care. I had to see the trailer. Since I was watching this at a multiplex, I had the bright idea of going to the different auditoriums showing Space Jam right about trailer time so I can watch it a few more times. I'd get up, go to the potty (in case the bored staff of teenagers were watching), then head into another Space Jam auditorium. I got to view the trailer two or three more times that way. I repeated this trick in 2001 when AOTC trailers were running with the first Harry Potter flick. I didn't see the movie all of the way through until I rented it on DVD.

3. The Sarlacc Diet

I've eaten all kinds of unholy things over the years in order to get food premiums or cool packaging. The sad part is, the tacos, chicken, and pizza I scarfed 1997-1999 and the Happy Meals I consumed during the Clone Wars run were probably the most nutritious and normal things on the menu. In between were those Go-Gurt things, the special ROTS Pop Tarts, sugary cereals, the AOTC gummies, and heavily salted chips. Remember the Chef Boyardee tie-in with the first set of CW cartoons back in '03? I NEVER ate Chef Boyardee in my entire life (my mom refused to buy it) until I bought this stuff.

The problem is I can't throw away food, even junk food. Poor starving kids in Darfur would sell their souls for those ROTS Pop Tarts. I couldn't just throw them away. I drew the line though at some Japanese TPM curry I bought on eBay. It's still sitting in its original packaging :O.

4. 24 Hours of Madness

Going to the toy store late at night to be the first to buy action figures is weird enough. After all, you can buy much of the merch stress free the next day. But what if you turned Midnight Madness into a 24-hour spree that takes you all over? Well, I more or less did that in 2005. Beginning with an appearance at Toys R Us at midnight and taking a few hours of sleep, I was back out at Target at 8 a.m. and driving all over San Diego County the rest of the day visiting various stores. I kept telling myself, "It's the last time!" to justify what I was doing.

5. Story Time

During TPM's opening weekend, I dropped by Borders with my friend Derek and a buddy of his. They'd flown out from the UK to see TPM since it was going to be another two months before it opened across the pond. We'd gone around town picking up various collectibles before going that night to see TPM again. Anyway, Borders was supposed to have a party to celebrate TPM's release but it was squarely aimed at kids and there weren't that many kicking around 3 p.m. in the afternoon. So we helped ourselves to free Wookiee Cookies, punch or lemonade or whatever, a few goodies, and settled in for a reading from the TPM Storybook. The hilarious part is whenever the Borders employee reading the book had a hard time pronouncing something, we would help her. It reached the point where she would look up at us with a "help" look on her face when got to another strange SW name.