Those Who Can Do, Those Who Can't Whine On The Internet

[lazypadawan]

Conveniently linked from starwars.com (!) is a ridiculous piece that originated on Film.com on how the Indiana Jones series can be "saved."

Naturally, its salvation can only come from a bunch of changes suggested by some random person on the internet. What are these changes? Reduce Ford's role to cameo status, fix up Shia LeBeouf with a chick, fix LeBeouf up with a dude (no, not THAT way), "scrap the mythology" (which the author really means is "no more sci-fi"), and make it darker and more cynical to please today's fanboys.

First of all, if you shove Harrison Ford into the corner, it ceases to be Indiana Jones. It's something else. I liked Mutt but a movie starring him would be a Mutt Williams movie. I think you either bring Ford back for one last outing or you go the route of the Young Indiana Jones series. Or you don't do it at all. It doesn't make any sense at all to advocate expanding Shia LeBeouf's role then say he's overexposed, so he needs current darlings like Rachel McAdams or John Krasinski to help balance him out.

Every Indiana Jones movie has its mythical McGuffin: the Ark of the Covenant, those funky stones, the Holy Grail, and the Crystal Skull. All of those items not only have real world archaeological value, they also have those eerie powers that doom those who mess with them. KOTCS isn't any different from the previous IJ flicks in this respect. KOTCS differs significantly in two ways: it doesn't take place in the 1930s and instead of supernaturalism, there are aliens instead. There's nothing you can do about the former since Ford can't fake being 20 years younger. As for the latter, so what? I'll never understand why people insist you have to strictly follow a formula to the letter every time or it's ur doing it wrong.

As for the last big on advocating Indy go dark and cynical, it has so many contradictory points, I'l have to quote it here:

The original films were silly, a bit campy in their simplistic views of good and evil, but that's what made them great in that time and that place. Things are different now. We're far too cynical as a nation to look upon Indiana Jones with the wide-eyed fervor and adoration that we once mustered. We've given up on ever getting to know our neighbors, and films like that are long departed from our national lexicon. Even James Bond has been forced to streamline and lose the campy factor in favor of a darker Bond. The new Bond is more in touch with our times and the modern mind, something that Crystal Skull failed at miserably. There is a way to reinvent without losing sight of the things that made Indiana Jones great, without destroying the joy and the thrilling adventure of it all, but Crystal Skull felt stuck. They've got to lose the CGI, get back to the basics, and make a film that can stand with the rest of them. Go dark, early and often, Temple of Doom or people's heads on fire (Raiders of the Lost Arc) style. It's the only way to make the light and grinning end worthwhile.

The sort of people who live on the internet ARE too cynical to look upon Indiana Jones with wide-eyed adoration. But they're not the only people in the world who go to the movies. If everyone is so cynical, why did Indy IV do so well? What about movies like Pirates of the Caribbean that was for the most part campy as all get-out? All people want is a good time at these kinds of movies. There's nothing wrong with that.

So Indiana Jones is too old -fashioned. Yet there's also the call to "lose the CGI" and "get back to the basics" (with no specifics). So does the author want an '80s throwback or what?

If there was anything I didn't like about KOTCS it was its anti-anti-Communism but I don't think it deserves the flames it gets from the usual quarters. If you ask me, it has everything to do with a knee-jerk anti-Lucas campaign waged over the past 10 years and nothing much more.

Comments

[darth-pipes.livejournal.com]

Excellent post, lp.

I was annoyed when the official site again linked to a story critical of SW/Indy though not surprised. This article is typical fanboy drivel. The film grossed almost $800 million, meaning that audiences certainly did not hate it.

Go dark, early and often is a joke too. The writer seems to forget that Temple of Doom, while certainly a hit, was the most maligned of the Indy films and arguably the weakest of the original trilogy. I've seen what happens when franchises go dark and take away all the humor. See Quantum of Suckatude and Terminator Salvation. It's not a pretty site.

Star Trek didn't go dark for its recent film and it revitalized the entire franchise.

[lazypadawan.livejournal.com]

Good point about Trek.

Another series that may sink under its own seriousness is Batman. "Dark Knight" was very successful critically and at the box office but I have to wonder how much longer can they go without so much as cracking a smile.

[darth-pipes.livejournal.com]

I think Batman will be okay since I think the dark mode represents Batman at its best. But it's a fair point to raise.

[ashmh.livejournal.com]

Go dark, early and often is a joke too. The writer seems to forget that Temple of Doom, while certainly a hit, was the most maligned of the Indy films and arguably the weakest of the original trilogy.


I certainly don't agree that TEMPLE OF DOOM is the weakest of the original three Indy films. Frankly, I consider it slightly better written than LAST CRUSADE and just as good as RAIDERS.


There is nothing wrong with summer films having a dark tone. If there were, what is the point of enjoying STAR WARS films like EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, ATTACK OF THE CLONES or REVENGE OF THE SITH?

I just don't believe that all films have to be one way or the other. I see room for films with both a dark tone and those with a more engaging tone.

By the way, what is "anti-anti-Communisism"?

[darth-pipes.livejournal.com]

I said "arguably the weakest." Many people consider it to be the weakest and it grossed the least of the trilogy.

[lazypadawan.livejournal.com]

Anti-Communism = opposing Communism

Anti-Anti-Communism = opposing those who oppose Communism

[ashmh.livejournal.com]

I've seen what happens when franchises go dark and take away all the humor. See Quantum of Suckatude and Terminator Salvation. It's not a pretty site.

Star Trek didn't go dark for its recent film and it revitalized the entire franchise.


One, the TERMINATOR franchise has always been dark. Always. I've recently watched all four movies. And by the way, although it wasn't a hit here in the U.S., it was a big hit overseas.

As for STAR TREK . . . I find it sad that a movie with such bad writing is responsible for the so-called revitalization of its franchise.

[may-child.livejournal.com]

Yes, the "Terminator" movies have always been dark. I didn't see the most recent one -- I'll rent it when it comes out on DVD -- but no one could call the preceding three cheery and light.

I have a feeling that the reason "Salvation" didn't do so well in the U.S. was because Ahnuld wasn't in it. No proof, of course -- it's just a feeling.

[darth-pipes.livejournal.com]

The films were always dark without a doubt but at least they had a sense of humor. Terminator Salvation was ridiculously grim and humorless. Christian Bale didn't help anything but grunting throughout the entire movie and showing no signs of humanity whatsoever. I understand it's a movie set in an apocalyptic world but at the same time, it's not Hamlet they're making here. The film did do pretty good overseas but bottom line, it tanked in the United States and without Sam Worthington to single-handily save the film, I think there's no hope left for a franchise that is years past its prime.

Star Trek was a blast and a lot of fun. JJ Abrams got what Star Trek wasn't about and wisely didn't engulf the franchise in darkness.

[sreya.livejournal.com]

Ditto on just about everything there. Indiana Jones is ALL about the archeological camp. Take away Ford's cracks, the supernatural and/or sci-fi artifacts, and wacky setups, and you don't have Indiana Jones anymore.

About the ONLY real criticism with KOTCS that I can agree with is missing the mark a bit with some of the CGI - I'm not referring to most of the effects, but the bluescreening. Somehow, half of the movie just felt like it was occurring on a sound stage as opposed to a real place in the world. But to me, that just means "work a little harder on the computer, movie effects nerds!" I'm guessing they somehow ended up rushing through some things for release.

[matril.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I read that article a while back, and much eye-rolling ensued. It got me thinking that the ending of Raiders was almost as out-there as KOTCS - really, creepy ark-ghosties who melt your faces? Show me the verse in the Old Testament that describes that. :P Not that it wasn't an awesome sequence, don't get me wrong, but if you're going to complain about weird endings, you can't ignore the bizarreness of Raider's climax. It's always been about super-powerful objects that are far beyond the ken or control of humans, and the crystal skull didn't veer from that concept at all.

[darth-pipes.livejournal.com]

Exactly. The end of Raiders is a great sequence but how can someone complain about the end of Crystal Skull being "too unrealistic" with aliens when the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark featured supernatural ghosts coming out of a "radio to God" and melting Nazis?

[krpalmer.livejournal.com]

While (of course?) I haven't seen the original piece and thus might be making too much of the term "saved," I'm annoyed by the conflation of that and "what those with vocal negative online opinions want to see." For that matter, too, the suggested changes sound like "dismantling the franchise in order to 'save' it"... I suppose that I'm also kind of perpetually annoyed at complaints about "modern effects," the suggestion that George Lucas can no longer try and push technology forward just because people have attachment to old movies in the same franchise. Did people complain that Quantum of Solace "should have looked like" From Russia With Love?

[lazypadawan.livejournal.com]

Did people complain that Quantum of Solace "should have looked like" From Russia With Love?

THIS!